


Who Knew I Needed Someone Like You

by efrondeur



Category: RWBY
Genre: Agender Character, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Pre-Canon, Self-Hatred, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 09:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7356025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/efrondeur/pseuds/efrondeur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James was alone. He liked it like that... or at least he used to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Knew I Needed Someone Like You

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm gonna be real. It's almost 3am, I've written most of this in the past 3 hours. I'm tired and my eyes hurt so I did a really half-assed editing job. I'll probably go back later today/tomorrow and fix any big errors, but for now I just kinda wanted to post this.
> 
> This did /not at all/ go where I expected. /At all./ this was originally supposed to be around 2,000 words and I tripled that...
> 
> Warning: brief section that has suicidal thoughts. Very brief. I'll add the tag if anyone thinks I should, just make sure you tell me in the comments.
> 
> As always, this is bases off of a song, two actually:
> 
> • Who Knew Someone Like You... ~ Mashup-Germany  
> • Somebody to Lean On ~ Mashup-Germany

James was alone.

He used to not mind it much. He had always been introverted, and being tossed home to home helped him to not rely on anyone but himself.

His parents and sister had died when he was seven. Let's just say storm, a herd of Grimm, and a slick road were a pretty bad combination, and the lack of orphan or foster programs and people who could afford to have an extra mouth to feed meant that he had to move from house to house, all of friends and distant family.

Their death had made him want to become a huntsman, but training for that costed money, something he didn't have. So instead, James would go out to the forests just outside his village and train out there.

In a year, he taught himself kickboxing and advanced self defense. Mastered fighting with a long branch in two months.

He was able learn almost anything he wanted to. So, when he learned of a Grimm attack in the next village over, he was determined to set out and show people what he was made of. Maybe save people in the process.

He snuck out of his cousin twice-removed’s house at night, grabbed his favorite branch, and went on his way. He got lost a couple of times, but arrived in the village just before dawn.

He went to the nearest inn and asked it's keeper where the attack happened, but all she gave was a, “stay out of this, kid.” When her back was turned he went and asked one of the drunks that had presumably been there all night.

Surprisingly enough, he gave James the exact location. James made his way over to the east side of the village and walked straight into the woods.

His veins coursed with adrenaline and fear, but he was determined to show everyone that he wasn't some poor, weak, orphaned, little kid. He may have only been five-foot-two, but he was ready.

Although, he never found the Grimm.

They found him.

James was walking through the forest, looking for the clearing the drunkard had been talking about, when a Beowolf jumped out of the brush. James instinctively took his branch, tip sharpened, posted his legs, twisted so his right side faced the Beowolf, whipped his torso around, and lobbed his makeshift spear into its chest. Perfect hit.

The Grimm fell to the ground just short of James. Feeling a rush of relief and confidence, James sauntered over to the dissipating body to grab the branch.

He felt a thudding in his boots, and looked up to see two Beowulves and their alpha sprinting towards him.

James couldn't move, and not for lack of trying. Fear immobilized him. He tried to yell, but only a small croak left his throat.

As the Alpha neared him, the other two split up, one to the right, one left, likely planning to go around James so they could attack from every side.

Still unable to move, the Alpha bent its head, as if bowing, and ran straight into James, head smacking James to the ground. His spear fell a couple feet away.

Finally, his body started to respond. He planted his right foot and hand on the ground, raised his body up, and brought his left leg over his right. He then used his right hand to push himself up onto his feet. He sprang up and jumped back. He raised his hands up as he saw the Alpha raise onto it's hind legs, arm readying to strike. He didn't have enough time to grab his spear.

But something in his mind told him something. It told him to rush forward. Jab it in the stomach. To trust it. James did.

His punch launched the Alpha into a tree, and impaled it on one of its branch. James looked at his hands. Where did that come from? Something inside of him was changing. Opening. He felt stronger, more assured.

And then there were teeth on his right shoulder and left arm. They pulled away, as if trying to split him, but lost their grip. The Beowulves. Why hadn't they punctured him? Why did that make him feel weaker?

While lost in though, the Beowulves returned. The one on his right went for his arm again, but the one on his left went for his torso. The left bit down and tried to pull, but again, it lost its grip and pulled off him.

That thing inside him snapped. The Beowolf on his right bit down harder. The teeth went in. It jerked its head around and James’ vision went white.

He heard someone screaming. Who else was there? It took him a moment to realize it was him. He brought his right hand to clamp around his mouth, but nothing happened. It only brought about more screaming.

Slowly, his eyes started to work again, and he saw he was laying on the ground. He brought his arms up to make sure they were still working, but only saw his left. He looked towards his right shoulder, only to see the that it, and his arm was gone.

He blacked out.

 

/////

 

There was an incessant beeping noise.

He opened his eyes, hoping to turn it off, too see that he was surrounded by white. White walls, curtains, seats, bed, sheets, machines. Everything. It took him a minute to realize he was in a hospital. Another to realize that someone was standing in the shadow of the doorway.

“Hello?” asked James. His voice was hoarse and scratchy from disuse.

The figure left the shadow. It was a woman, dressed in a stark white uniform, a figure-forming great coat, and a remarkable amount of medals and ribbons. Military officer.

“Good afternoon, James. Do you know who I am?” she asked. Her voice was smooth and gentle, but held authority. Confidence.

He shook his head. He tried to sit up, only to realize that his right arm was still missing. The beeping noise sped up. Where did it go? What happened?

It rushed back to him. The Beowulves, the Alpha, the pain, the screaming. The fear.

The beeping sped up even more. The woman rushed over to his side.

“Sh, sh, you're okay now. You're safe. Those Grimm are long gone,” she said. Her voice was soft now, full of caring and concern. He started trembling. “Breathe with me.” She breathed in deeply and slowly, letting her breath out the same way.

He followed her as best as he could, and, in a few minutes, he was able to calm down more. He still trembled, but only slightly.

Once she thought he was ready, she started talking. “I'm Lily Elouan, General of the Atlesian Army and Headmistress of Atlas Academy. I found you in the forest. The Beowulves had just… anyway, I killed them and got you out of there. You're in the hospital in Atlas Academy right now. Do you understand?” asked Lily.

He nodded.

“James… I don't know how to put it lightly, so I'm just going to say it. They ripped off your right arm and shoulder.” He nodded slightly. “The doctors can fit you with a prosthetic, if you want. It can be ready for you in two days if you want it, and then you'll have to go through surgery to get it connected to you. If you want that, tell me, but you have time to decide.”

Prosthetic arm. Metal arm. Still an arm. But… how could he pay? He couldn't. He wouldn't even be able to pay the hospital bills as it was. What was he going to do? His dumb ass just had to go fucking be the savior and now look at him he lost his fucking arm what was he going to do how was he going to go home what was-

“James,” said Lily, and it obviously wasn't the first time she had said it. He realized the heartbeat monitor was racing again. “Talk to me.”

“I can't pay for anything. I don't have money,” he said quietly.

“I do.”

“No, you can't-”

“I can and I will. You are a bright young man from everything I've seen about you. You know how to fight. No one who didn't even have an aura yet would have been able to take down a Beowolf and an Alpha.”

His aura. That's what that thing inside him was.

"Say the word,” she continued, “and you can get the prosthetic, but I'm not going to force it on you.”

James thought for a minute, instinctively trying to raise his right hand to brush his hair back, only to remember. That made up his mind for him.

“I want it,” he said.

“Excellent, I'll tell your doctor in a moment, but for now, how do you feel about huntsman?”

 

/////

 

James was alone, but not really. He still didn't mind it.

He had amazing teammates, and he was their fearless leader. He, Cream Hagger, Elon Anders, and Eva Fawnskin made Team ICEE.

At first James was afraid they would judge his arm and dismiss him from being able to lead, but they didn't even give it mind. He had two revolvers as his weapons now, as his right arm wasn't able to throw a spear as accurately. But that didn't quite stop him from concealing two throwing knives in the handle of each gun.

They also understood that James worked at his own pace. That it tended to be best to just leave him be. Although, it never took away from them being a team. They worked as one, and as General Elouan had said multiple times, they are one of the most cohesive and tactical teams she had ever seen.

James was introverted. He needed his space, and they happily gave it to him. They would go out, get dinner, bring him some back, and talk with him if he wanted their presence, if not, they would do their own thing. It worked. James was happy.

He liked being left alone. He liked still being able to think for himself, even if that meant that sometimes he had to think for three other people as well.

After they graduated, CEE still wanted to work together, mainly as Team ICEE, but James wanted to be alone. They respected that, although, they each had their own opinions about it.

Eva had always seen him as her older brother and James saw her as his younger sister, but, as he explained to her, family is always family, but that doesn't mean that you're always together. Sometimes seeing each other every once in awhile is really for the best. He knew antlers couldn't sag, but he swore he saw her’s do it when he told her this.

Elon, however, was happy to hear James was leaving. They had grown tired of him, and James knew that. They saw James as a friend, but the constant need to be alone annoyed them. They understood, but it didn't make it any less frustrating. The cancellation of plans, the “just go without me”s, and constant evasion of questions and events rather than outright saying no, was tiring for them. While they didn't want to lose their friend, they couldn't handle it much longer without snapping.

Cream, well, he was always free flowing. He took what came at him with grace. When James said he wanted to go on his own, he nodded and smiled. That was one thing James always liked about him: he never truly got upset or emotional.

He would miss all of them, but he knew, it was for everyone's own sanity. So they carried on without him.

Cream headed Team CEE. They kept in touch for a little while, but after a couple years, it seemed as if they forgot about him. He was okay with that. It was for the best.

 

/////

 

He joined the Atlas Army after encouragement from General Elouan. He was happy to do so, for he was still allowed to go out on missions on his own whether they were official military missions, or ones he found on his own time.

After a year and a half in the army, he was assigned a mission: clear out a nest of Nevermore from a village thirty miles north. Simple enough.

After questioning the locals about the nest, he climbed the forested hill to reach them.However, when he got there, he realized that this particular nest was home to five alphas and at least twenty Nevermore.

He didn't want to call the general and ask her for reinforcement, he had an inkling that completion of this mission meant promotion, and didn't want to ruin that by already admitting defeat.

Instead he called Cream. No answer.

Elon. Nothing.

Eva. Silence.

He tried them all again five more times. Still nothing. He threw his scroll in frustration. _Bad idea._

There was a loud squawk in front of him. A Nevermore and an Alpha Nevermore flew out of the nest, straight towards him. He shot them out of the air in three shots. The rest of the nest leaped out and flew towards him.

Unable to think of a way to fight his way out,be holstered his guns and he rushed over to the tree his scroll had fallen by, making his way towards the village. He quickly sent his location to the general, hoping that she would understand without him needing to send a message along with.

James sprinted down the hill, zigzagging through the trees. The other four Alphas followed him in from above the treetops with some of the smaller Nevermore with them while at least five chased James through the forest.

He hopped a log only to land on another one. His couldn't find his footing on the curve and fell face-first onto the ground. He turned onto his back, unholstering one of his guns and shot it at the Nevermore.

He had nine bullets left in this gun, and had one, two, three… six Nevermore. His first three shots landed and killed three of them. He missed his fourth. One extra. He got two more with the same number of bullets. Missed again. No more mistakes left. He shot down the one closest to him. One bullet, one Nevermore.

He waited until it got closer. Just a little more. _Click._ _Click. Click._ Did he miscount?

Too late.

The Nevermore picked him up in its claws and flew out of the forest, knocking his gun out of his hand and taking him into a field close to town. The other Grimm followed.

James tried to wiggle around enough to reach his pistol. He couldn't unholster it, but he was able to disengage the lock keeping the knives in place. They fell into his hand. He pressed the switch to flip them open and stuck them into the Grimm’s claw.

Shrieking, it released him. He fell. He forgot about the whole falling out of the sky part. He had no landing strategy for falling out of an awkward grip of a Nevermore.

Both lucky and unlucky enough, another, presumably Alpha, Nevermore caught him, holding him much tighter than the first as its claw was able to fully wrap around him. It was then something whizzed past him. He whipped his head around to see a blonde huntress on the ground.

She was hurtling purple crystals at the Nevermore. James had never been more relieved.

The Nevermore holding him circled her. As it did so, he was able to see her take them down, one by one. He thought she knew he was up there as well, but apparently not.

She flung crystals at the Nevermore holding him. Most made it into the bird and it shrieked in pain. But so did he. At such a high power, the crystal shattered the aura protecting him; one had lodged itself deep into his lower back.

The Grimm released James from his grip. Fifty feet in the air. He heard the huntress scream just before he crashed into the ground.

All he heard before he blacked out was a sickening crunch as his right side slammed into the ground.

 

/////

 

His vision was fuzzy. He could hear a vaguely familiar beeping noise and the sound of people speaking in hushed tones. He tried to open his eyes, but they wouldn't cooperate. He tried to say something, but his mouth wouldn't cooperate either. Instead he made a noise somewhere between a groan and a hum.

The people talking paused, and then he heard footsteps. Something in his left arm moved.

“Rest, James,” a male voice said.

Slowly, he slipped back into nothingness.

 

/////

 

He had no idea how much time had passed since he last woke up, or even since the fight happened.

When he was finally able to open his eyes he saw General Elouan and the blonde huntress sitting next to her. They were talking when James woke up. The moment the huntress saw he was awake, she started to cry.

The General turned to him, as she put her hand on the huntress’ shoulder.

“James,” said General Elouan breathing a sigh of relief. “How do you feel?”

He answered her honestly. “I don't really feel anything,”

“You're pretty heavily drugged up. They just took you off of sedatives, but you're still on a couple pain killers.” She looked to the huntress. “James, this is Glynda Goodwitch. Glynda, this is James Ironwood. I think I should give you two a minute.”

The huntress - Glynda - looked up as she left. Tears were streaming down her face. Regret lined it.

“Hey,” said James softly. “It's okay. You didn't know I was there. I'm still alive and kicking. I don't blame you.”

That only made her cry harder. What was he supposed to do?

“You should blame me! You lost half of your body because of me!” she cried. She put her head in her hands.

Lost half his body? He looked down. His entire right side was metal. _His entire right side was metal. His entire right side. Was metal. His right half was made up of prosthetics._

He started to panic, but quickly reigned himself in when he remembered Glynda was still crying. He needed to reassure her it wasn't her fault. As they say, once a leader, forever a leader.

“Hey, hey. It's o-,” he sighed. “It's not your fault. There was only one way down, and if the Grimm took me down, then I would have died.” He moved to put his right hand on her left, but she moved away.

“I'm-,” sniff, “I'm just-,” sniff, “I'm just so sorry, James!” Just like that, she left. Ran out of the room holding her face. General Elouan came in soon after.

“James?” she asked, sounding concerned.

“When did I get these?” he asked, ignoring her.

She sighed. “I authorized them a month ago, they fitted you and then attached them two and a half weeks ago.”

“A month ago?” he repeated. “How… How long have I been out?”

“Almost two months. You were… an uncertainty for about a month before they decided you would be strong enough to handle prosthetics,” said the General. “I wouldn't have approved them without asking you first, but they didn't think you'd make it without them,” she added quickly.

He was at a loss for words. Two months. He might have died. How much had happened? What did he miss? Maybe he should have died.

“You'll start physical therapy and occupational therapy in a few days. You should rest up until then.”

James sighed. This was going to be a long recovery.

 

/////

 

James was alone. He hated it. He hated himself.

Once he was out of the hospital and physical therapy, he took every chance he could to be outside. At first, being outside - where there was fresh air, people, noise, _joy_ \- was amazing.

It quickly turned sour.

His first day out of his apartment had been hot. He wore short sleeves and shorts. He was comfortable, until he encountered people.

They looked at him with disgust. They wouldn't meet his eye. Parents held their children closer as he passed. They stepped out of his way, as if his prosthetics were some disease others could catch.

Quickly James felt ashamed of himself. He covered up when he could, sometimes even wearing a beanie in the summer if it meant he could hide the metal on his forehead. So he hid. Went out less, ordered in more. It was easier.

He couldn't go into combat when he went back to work, but that didn't stop General Elouans’ plans for him. She called him to her office his first day back.

He knocked lightly on her door.

“Come in,” she called. He opened the door and walked in, closing it behind him. “James, thank you for coming.”

“Of course ma’am,” he said as he saluted her.

“At ease. I wanted to talk to you. Take a seat.”

He walked over to the chair right in front of the desk she was sitting at and sat down.

He waited patiently for her to begin speaking.

“You've always been a bright man, so I'm not going to dance around the subject. You've known that you've been considered for a promotion, and I'm here to tell you you've got it.”

He blinked. “Um, to what am I promoted to, ma’am?”

“Well, you're not quite there yet, but I want you to be my apprentice. I'm going to teach you the duties and responsibilities of being a general, and, when I step down, you will take over.” She looked at him above her reading glasses. “How does that sound?”

He stared at her. Slowly his eyebrows pinched together. “Are you serious?” he asked.

“I wouldn't joke about something like this, James,” she said plainly.

“I, uh, yes! Of course!”

She smiled. “Great. Shall we get started?”

“Yes, but uh,” he swallowed. “Can I just ask why you chose _me_?”

“Of course. Throughout the years I've known you, you've never stopped growing. You are one of the best marksman, and you dual wield _pistols_ . You have shown that you are an exemplary leader, and a very caring person. You were lying in _your_ hospital bed, _comforting_ the huntress that _put_ you there. James, there is no one I would trust more than you I'm this position. I could go on, but to be honest, I don't have the time.” She smiled. “Now, let's begin.”

 

/////

 

James was happy in his position… sort of.

He was lonlier than ever. People saluted him, called him sir, respected him, but no one really _cared_ about him. At the end of the day he was their boss, not their friend.

Lily had passed a year ago. He hadn't heard from his old team in over a decade. His old friends were now his subordinates, and they treated him as such.

He had been alone before, but never truly, he always seemed to have someone. He was completely alone. No one to look forward to when he came home. No one to wait up for. No one to make plans with outside of battle strategies. Nothing. He lived in a sea of strangers.

Sometimes he wished Lily had never authorized his prosthetics. Or that the fall had killed him instead of wounding him. For Glynda’s crystal to hit him in the head. Anything to stop the ache he needed for physical contact. Care. _Love_.

He had allowed himself to be in one romantic relationship since he lost half of his body, and it ended with them running out of his apartment when they saw his body. Specifically, his dick. Since then, he vowed to never become involved with someone; it wasn't worth the pain.

He squashed his feelings down, bottling them deep into himself as he put his great coat on. He looked at himself in the mirror, gave himself a quick nod, grabbed his glove, and headed out of his apartment.

When he got into his office, he had a message from the headmaster of Beacon, Ozpin. They asked him to come to Vale, for _an important matter that must be explained in person_.

James got an airship prepped and left for Beacon as quickly as he could.

The journey was abnormally quick and smooth, something James was grateful for.

He rode the elevator up to their office, and, once the doors opened, he was met by Ozpin, a familiar huntress, and a black haired huntsman.

His brows furrowed.

“General Ironwood, it's good to see you,” said Ozpin, stepping out from their desk.

“You as well,” responded James. He looked around again. The huntsman looked like he had seen better days. “May I ask why you called me here?”

“Ah, yes, of course.” They moved over to sit back at their desk, motioning for James to join them there. Glynda and the huntsman joined the two.

“I believe you know Glynda,” said Ozpin, motioning their hand towards her.

“Yes,” she said, quickly. She refused to look at James, even made sure to stand as far away from him as possible.

“This huntsman here is Qrow Branwen. He is a trusted colleague of mine.”

“Pleasure,” said James, holding out his hand to the man. Qrow looked at him, then at his hand, then back at him. He smirked, let out a small, silent laugh, and turned back to Ozpin. So he was one of _those_. He could deal with him… at least for now.

James dropped his hand and turned back to Ozpin.

“What do you know about fairy tales?”

 

/////

 

James was in the elevator up to Ozpin’s office. It was time for the Vytal Festival. It was a time of peace and togetherness. Togetherness. People from all around Remnant were getting together, turning strangers into friends, and there James was. Wishing he had someone. Something. He wanted physical touch. He wanted a hug, a pat on the arm. Anything.

But he had done this to himself. He told his friends to leave. He told his subordinates that close relationships across large rank differences was inappropriate. He distance himself from anyone that had or could care about him. He just wanted someone to hold. One minute. That's all he asked for.

To make matters worse, since the Vytal Festival was in Vale this year, he was in town with Glynda, who still was full of regret and shame and wouldn't spend time with him, and Ozpin, someone who tended to be alone, elusive, and with holding. He loved the person, but damn they were frustrating. He finally understood how Elon felt.

There was also a pretty good chance that Qrow was in town. The world had always seen to calm down during the Festival, so Ozpin didn't need their little spy as much. And, for, James, that meant days of avoidance and anxiety. Qrow was _attractive_. He would never show it, you had to know him well to see it, but Qrow was the most compassionate, caring, and understanding person he had ever met.

Qrow found out about James’ prosthetic by accident. Instead of being the Qrow James thought he would be, Qrow was fascinated on how prosthetics were able to work so well and then extremely comforting when James almost broke down from relief.

Qrow had surprised him when James saw him around his nieces. He was fatherly, adorable goofy, happy, sober, and fun. He was creative and inventive, happily creating a world where the two little girls were the Knights in Shining Armor, saving the princess from a gigantic and cruel Ursa.

It would suffice to say that James had fallen head over heels for this huntsman, and James was in a constant state of panic around him. He told himself he would never get himself involved with someone, and yet, all he wanted was to have Qrow be a part of his life. A big part.

But Qrow didn't deserve to deal with someone like James. He deserved the world, and rhat was something James just couldn't give him.

So James stayed as far away from him as he could. If he didn't have to see Qrow, he wouldn't have to deal with his feelings, right? _Wrong._

_Ding_

The elevator doors opened and broke him out of his thoughts. He walked into the room, only to see the same three people he always did. He shook hands with Ozpin, awkwardly greeted Glynda, and gave Qrow a quick nod and a forced smile. Qrow pulled out his flask and took a drink.

They talked about various things, most involving the Vytal Festival. Ozpin pulled up a map of the city and arena, which caused Qrow to come stand next to James, their shoulders almost brushing. James’ hand was halfway to the small of Qrow's back to move him over slightly, when he realized what he was doing and snapped it back to his side.

He started to panic, and had to excuse himself, saying he was feeling feverish, and absolutely did didn't run to the elevator.

He got to his hotel room before he broke down. He closed the door, fell back against it, sliding to the floor. He started, not just crying, but bawling.

But what he wanted was Glynda to forgive herself. He wanted her to not see him and see her failure. He wanted to go to the bar with her and talk about pretty girls. He wanted to hang out in one of their apartments and talk about life. Anything. He just wanted to be her friend.

Ozpin was… Ozpin. James would never get close to them. The closest anyone was to them was Glynda, and even still he doubted that she knew much about them. They were a lost cause to him.

And Qrow? He wanted everything and nothing from Qrow. He knew he didn't deserve Qrow. He never would. But that didn't stop him from wanting. He wanted to see Qrow when he came home. Wait up the night he should come back from a mission. Worry about him. Hold him. Cuddle with him. Love him and have Qrow love him back. He wanted to see Qrow at his worst, and help teach him how to build himself back up. He wanted Qrow to just listen to him ramble. Advise him as to what the best machinery would be for the new paladins. He wanted to share his life with Qrow, and for Qrow to share his with James.

But it wouldn't happen. It never would. Qrow knew about most of his prosthetics, but not his dick. What would he say when he found out? How long would it take him to run? He wouldn't though; he wasn't like the other person… right?

There was a knock on his door.

James took a minute to compose himself, and warned a couple more knocks in the meantime.

“Yes?” he asked, trying to keep his voice as level as possible.

“James?”

It was Qrow. _It was Qrow._ He couldn't open the door, but he had to.

“James? Open up,” said Qrow.

“N-now’s not a good time.”

“Are you okay?”

 _Lie_ . “Fine, just, uh, just go away.” _Shit_. He could have passed this as a simple ‘I wasn't feeling well,’ but now Qrow would know that something was wrong.

“Open up,” said Qrow gently. “Please.”

James sighed. He begrudgingly opened the door. Qrow slipped inside.

He took one look at James’ tear-tracked face and immediately became concerned. “James, what's wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said, looking away from him. He was already upset with himself for worrying Qrow, he wasn't going to do it anymore.

Qrow grabbed his hand, and led him over to the couch, sitting the two of them down on it.

“Talk to me. I won't judge you.” Qrow sat there patiently, left leg crossed in front of him so he could face James.

What was he supposed to say? _I love you, please tell me you feel the same_. No.

“I just… have been trying to work some things out, and… it hasn't been going well.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” asked Qrow. He was calm and gentle as he spoke, _damn_ that voice.

He shook his head. Then nodded. Then shook his head again. Eventually he just put his head in his hands.

He felt Qrow get up from the couch and kneel in front of him. Slowly, he put his hands around James’ wrists and brought his hands away.

James looked up. Qrow smiled softly. He could kiss him. His face was only a foot away. He would just have to lean forward…

What if Qrow didn't want him to? What if given the option he would say no? What would happen if he pushed James away? Stormed out of his room?

“Come back to me, James. Come back. There ya go. Hey.” Qrow's thumbs made slow circles on James’ wrists. The contact. He wanted more.

He let his head fall onto Qrow's shoulder, and Qrow wrapped his arms around him. “It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he whispered into James’ ear. He held onto James as he cried.

He had been wanting this for years. He wanted someone to hold him. To tell him everything would be okay. To show him that he had someone. And the fact that it was the man he had been in love with for the better part of two years made it better.

Qrow moved back to the couch, still holding James. James wrapped his arms around Qrow's torso, and Qrow buried his nose into James’ hair. He heard him take few deep, albeit shuddering breaths. He was trying to steady himself.

Qrow ran his hands up and down James’ back, and after a little while, James stopped crying. Qrow pulled back a little, but James held on tighter, unwilling to let go just yet. Qrow let out a small laugh and settled back into James, pulling him closer.

It quickly became hard for James to keep his eyes open, exhaustion from all of his feelings getting to him. God, _he loved Qrow_.

“What?” asked Qrow, jumping back.

He said that out loud. _No, no, no, no, no_ . _Not now, please not now_.

James looked between Qrow's rusty eyes, pleading, for what, he didn't know. Forgiveness, probably.

“What did you say?,” asked Qrow gently.

James sighed and looked down. “I said I… I love you.” His shoulders sagged in defeat. Qrow would leave. He wouldn't talk to James anymore, or worse, he would act as awkward as Glynda.

Qrow let out a breathe of laughter. James shoulders drooped even more. The there was a hand on the back of his neck, spinning him towards Qrow.

There were lips on his. Soft, slightly chapped, warm lips. The hand on the back of his neck loosened tilted James’ head more, and Qrow deepened the kiss.

They broke apart. Qrow was smiling; James was frozen in shock.

He stared at Qrow, wide eyed and terrified. Did that really happen? Qrow's face soon mimicked his own.

“Did you not want that?” asked Qrow. “Oh my _god_ , I am so sorry, James.” He started to move away from James when James grabbed his shoulders and brought him in for another kiss.

This one was more passionate, yet even more gently than the first. Then there was another. And more, and more.

At some point, they ended up with their shirts off, cuddling on the couch, with Qrow practically draped over James. James was carding his fingers through Qrow's hair as the man absently drew shapes on his metal chest.

“I love you, too, by the way,” said Qrow. “I didn't say that before.” James kissed Qrow's hair.

They fell asleep like that, happy and content to finally be able to call each other their's.

They were ready to share their lives, and everything that came with it. They had taken the first step. Now, it was time for the rest. Thick or thin, they'd do it together.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love.
> 
> I don't feel like linking it right now, but my tumblr is qrowisbae.tumblr.com


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